Killing Time

Useless info #1: I am officially too old to have my wisdom teeth erupting but I could not think of any other reason why the gum at the back of my molars is throbbing for the past few days.

This morning I woke up and thought it would be a great morning for a swim (… it’s the thought that counts?). So , I went to the pool. It was 10am sharp, I know that coz I was wearing my Adidas watch coz I could not find Aning’s to borrow. As I descended into the water, I heard someone hooting. This is the thing that I hate about swimming. The boys behave like they have never seen boobies before. But, it’s not like it was something that I have never heard before so I ignored the hooligans and continued swimming anyway.

5 minutes into huffing and puffing in the water, I noticed that a tall African man was walking towards my end of the pool. He stopped as I reached the edge and started asking me all sorts of nonsense. The conversation went…

African Guy (AG): Do you know how to swim?

Me: (thinking…. hello? I am swimming, what sort of a question is that?). No, not really, I am not really good at it (and swum away to the other end).

AG: (shouting from across the pool) Can you teach me how to swim? I have always wanted to swim.

Me: (ignoring the question. AG repeated it several times, so I surfaced and said) No no, I don’t know how to teach. (went back into the water)

AG: Are you Chinese?

Me: No

AG: Are you Malay?

Me: Yes

AG: You look like Chinese.

Okay, even with the BEST of lighting there was no way I could be mistaken for an amoi.

I went to the other end and stayed there for about 10 minutes doing breathing exercises. The AG waited patiently . True enough, when I swam back to his side, he had more of these silly 20 questions to ask me.

AG: Have you been to KLCC? Would you like to go to KLCC with me?

Me: No thanks, I am not interested.

AG: I want to be your friend.

Me: (standing up in the water and looking really annoyed) No, thanks. I already have a boyfriend (I don’t but I think under the circumstances I am allowed to say I do).

AG: I don’t want to be your boyfriend, just your friend. Why don’t you want to go to KLCC with me? You should dump your boyfriend. I can be a better boyfriend.

Me: (speechless, dunked into the water and swam away).

I stayed at the other side and made it pretty clear that I had no intention of going anywhere near him. So, he left the pool while babbling about what a snobbish, arrogant, snotty little bitch I was.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a TYPICAL day at the pool for the average Malaysian girl. I went back home thinking what was wrong with all these people? Obviously I was not in the mood to socialize nor, heaven forbid, did I go to the pool with the intention to pick up guys but there you go. If you wonder why I don’t exercise more, that’s your answer.

Later this afternoon I went to Pyramid. I spent the last 2 days languishing in my bed playing Final Fantasy IV Advance on the GBA SP. People always ask me, oh you play games? On what? Let me now say it once and for all, these kind of questions are ANNOYING!!! You can only ask me these kind of questions if you play and by play I mean spend at LEAST 60 hours per game on the PS2 or an equivalent console (X-Box, PS1, PSP, DS, GBA SP or whatever. You only qualify if you spend 60 hours or more. Playing one game of Puzzle Bobble or Freecell on your lame ass laptop doesn’t count). The final battle with Zeromus pissed me off because my characters’ levels were not high enough to beat him (yes yes I am one of those lazy ones who never bother to properly level up or look for ultimate weapons or finish side quests etc. Look who’s talking? Do you even play?). So, I decided to go to Pyramid to people watch and check my mails.

First stop was Starbucks. I was hungry and thought it’d be a great idea to check my mails while I treat myself to a glass of cool ice chocolate.

"Can I have a tall ice-chocolate and a mango Napoleon? Please don’t shake the ice-chocolate because I like the milk and chocolate syrup not to be mixed," I said pleasantly to the girl behind the counter.

She made a face and said "We never shake the ice chocolate,". So I said, "Okay, but just as a reminder, don’t do that coz I don’t like it to be too sweet,".

Mind you, I said all this in a very nice way. Sue me, I like my ice chocolate to be prepared in a certain way. It wasn’t as if I asked her to put the milk and the chocolate syrup in 2 different glasses. I only asked for her NOT TO SHAKE the damn drink.

She went to the girl who was supposed to prepare the drink and explained it. Let’s call the first one Girl A and the second one Girl B. Suddenly they started snapping at each other. Girl B said "I got that, you don’t have to explain it to me again. I NEVER shake the ice chocolate,". Then Girl A said something or the other and annoyed Girl B and they said some stuff back and forth …all this happening while I was standing at the counter clutching my RM50. Forget about them being annoyed, I was mega ANNOYED.

Hello ladies?!! I have bought enough ice chocolate from different Starbucks from all over the world to be able to say that if I don’t tell them not to shake it, they WILL shake it. That’s how you get ice chocolate!! Does that make sense? Of course. But, that is not how I like my chocolate milk. So, to save everyone the trouble, I like to tell beforehand.  Suddenly I was the most difficult customer they have ever dealt with in Starbucks Pyramid? Oh please.

Anyway, I got my drink — yes yes it wasn’t shaken. Drama drama drama.

After that, I decided to get some groceries. While I was at the snacks aisle, I noticed that they have re-stocked Herr’s Cheese Curls. Now I don’t know about you, but I LOVE Herr’s Cheese Curls. I have been dreaming of getting this for weeks but they never seem to stock it. So I grabbed a packet. It costs RM8.99 (that’s the standard price anyway). As I was leaving the aisle, I thought, why not? So I grabbed another 2 packets.

Now, if there is one thing you need to know about me is that I like only certain types of food. But, I only like them at certain times so my house is full with half-eaten snack packets, and chocolate bars, and breakfast cereals and what-have-yous. But in my defense I must say that when I buy them, I really REALLY thought that I would finish them.

Anyway, before I shopped for groceries I happened to buy some personal care items and 2 books from MPH. You are supposed to check in any bags before you can enter the grocery store so I did just that. I put the redemption slip in the front pocket of my jeans and shopped away.

when I got home, the first thing that I did was to audit the fridge (read: throw away everything that Ruby puts in there. She never eats or reheats anything, why does she have the need to keep leftovers in the fridge for 3 weeks I will never understand). Then I cooked dinner and, as I was about to sit down to eat, looked for the books that I bought. I can’t eat without reading. I know that’s a bad habit and it tends to make you overeat (coz you will keep on eating until you finish reading) but like I said, I am a creature of habit so sue me.

Imagine my horror when I realized I have left the bag at the grocery store!!!!! Darn darn darn darn darn!!! I fingered my jeans pocket and true enough the redemption slip was there, mocking me.

So I made ANOTHER trip to Pyramid to get the bag, got myself a cup of tall latte and a carrot walnut cheesecake and sat down to type this. Now I have the urgent need to pee but decided to hold it until I finish this.

Useless info # 2: I have decided I want to write a screenplay entitled "Searching For Takuya". It’s about a girl and her quest to search for Takuya (heh, self-explanatory). I thought of it as I thought of Antique (the dorama about 4 men and a cake shop). Why? Because I wanted to do something fun, and this sounds like fun.

I was looking at the Manila photos and wondered what was the reason for my reluctance to dance? I know that the Renoma heels that I wore was no help but I used to be good at shaking my tushies. I think someday I should teach the girls at the office the moves to Trauma, hah that would be a sight to see.

I have ONE more day to write a song before the month of January is up. Did you know that I have not written ANYTHING at all for the whole of 2005?!! Scariligeous. I know I have a few half-baked songs languishing somewhere, some with potential and some pure cr*p but I am shocked to realize that I did not complete any single one of them.

Time to kick myself in the behind and get with the program.

Till then.

Useless info #3: I used the word annoyed and its derivatives 5 times while writing the above.

Question: How many of these I will break by Chinese New Year?

1. I will do the caterpillar at least two minutes every day and if during some of those days I do not have access to a guitar I will still pretend to do the caterpillar as if I have a guitar.
2. I will go swimming at least twice a week and if during some of those days I do not have access to swimming pools then it will be bankrolled into the next week.
3. I will only buy either a pair of shoes or a handbag a month and NOT…..  BOTH!
4. I will only buy a maximum four (4) items of clothing a month and at least one of those will be in colour other than black or brown or red.
5. I am only allowed 2 Japanese CDs a month and ONLY if they were at discounted prices on eBay, and that includes concert DVDs or music video collections.
6. I am allowed to buy as many books or magazines or earrings that I want.
7. I will not think of mocha mud pie too much.
8. I must play and complete at least 2 games that are not RPG-related. Expand the horizons a little.
9. I must write one song a month. Even if it’s just about the weather.
10. I will take one old friend out for coffee every month.
11. I will try to do one new thing every month. It could be mastering cuss words in foreign languages, or kissing Japanese rockstars, or learning to knit.
12. I will own one new musical instrument or equipment every year. I’ve always wanted a pair of maracas.
13. I will change my hairstyle once every quarter.
14. Ho! I will get my driver’s license before the year is out.
15. I will get a baju kurung tailor made, once and for all.
16. I will get a new Neo Matrix jacket and if I can’t find one, I’ll make one.
17. I will find a magical pair of super-black jeans that will make me look slimmer and younger and richer and wiser.
18. I will be nicer to boys. *koff! koff! can’t breathe…need….air…*
19. I will write a funny, witty screenplay. If Matt and Ben (and Stephen Chow) can, Ijah can too. (residual resolution from 3 years ago)
20. I will take up drawing and painting. Seriously. I will.
21. I will complete my photography projects within this century.
22. I will learn how to copycat mangas and draw cute little girls with big shiny eyes in short skirts and long stockings.
23. I will learn Japanese. Formally. It’s not enough to fake it by saying domo arigatou gozaimasta all the time.
24. I will learn to accept that I only need one pair of sunglasses, not 4, in my handbag each time.
25. I will go to a Dome Tour by Mr Children and Glay before I reach the ripe old age of 35. Who’s with me?!
26. I will go to Morrocco.
27. I will find True Love. I meant the perfume. By Elizabeth Arden. What did you think I mean?
28. I will get a macthing luggage. In green. Or purple. Or orange.
29. This is a no brainer. I will get a PS3 before the year is done.
30. I will join a gym. Ha!
31. And go at least twice a week. Double ha!
32. I will get a full set of Akira Kurosawa’s movies on DVD
33. I will get a full set of Haruki Murakami’s books
34. I will read Kafka.
35. I will listen to a ‘live’ Jazz performance. Ok ok. I will try to listen to a ‘live’ Jazz performance.
36. Oh this is hard. I will go and support at least 4 local traditional arts and/or music production this year, one for every quarter.
37. I will finish all my replacement puasa before mid-year. Ganbattei, ne!
38. I will file my taxes and pay them before 30th April.
39. I will save 10% of my monthly income in a high performing investment fund that will make me rich beyond belief (read: lottery).
40. I will watch all the F1 races. If I miss the ‘live’ race, I’ll watch the repeats. Michael lost his crown coz I didn’t do so last year.
41. I will take a personal holiday at least twice a year. Even if it’s only for lying in my bed thinking about when it’s gonna rain next.
42. I will drink 5 glasses of water every day.
43. I will eat sensibly and take all my multivitamins and anti-histamines religiously. At this age, I need all the help I can get.
44. I will try to sleep by midnight every night.
45. Oh, I been wanting to do this since February last year. I will make a decent demo of my stuff. A cheap mic and a free encoding software don’t count.
46. I will write liner notes to all the songs and explain (expose?) who they were really written for.
47. I will contemplate making amends. Please note that I put this at the bottom of my list.
48. I will track Hisashi. I did it once, I can do it again.
49. I will get my job description and line of reporting cleaned up and straighten out so that I can function better at work. Say… by March? Oh to be so optimistic and naive about managing expectations.
50. I will start dating again and fill up my dancing card(s). Who am I kidding? All the good guys are either married or gay. At least, that’s what the statistics say! Good luck to Awa!!

Note 1: I didn’t put ‘working hard’ in there coz it’s an oxymoron. I always work hard. Even if it doesn’t appear that way. When I gaze pensively outside my office window, I am not daydreaming, I am strategizing. To quote Bibi, get with the programme.

Note 2: I was not high on pot when I wrote this. A little hungry though, so my thinking might be impaired. It’s 1.54am, of course I am hipoglycemic. Heh.

Note 3: I am still not sleepy. There goes resolution # 44.

Did anyone say mocha mud pie?

~IA