What?! You’re an FBI agent?
Today I ate char siew. That’s roast pork for you uninitiated. Kris asked me, so how do you find it? I said, (while munching and munching) … it tastes just like … tofu.
No need to jump off your rocker. In my defense, I was at a vegetarian restaurant and I didn’t know I was eating faux pork. Actually, in that restaurant you can eat crocodiles, monkeys, wild boars and civets and they all would taste like dried up soya bean skin.
I also found out that Kris is on a leave of absence from the army. I gasped. He laughed and said don’t be so shocked, I was discharged honourably from the army. I’m not an A.W.O.L.
I asked him why did you leave? He said it was because of Desert Storm. I did a double take. You mean you weren’t with ATM? The burly, jolly man laughed heartily and said no dear, I was with the American Armed Forces. Near choking, I asked, when you say Desert Storm, you mean THE Desert Storm? He said, yes THE Desert Storm. After that experience, I just had to pack my bags and leave.
But, that was not the only surprise of the day. I asked Kris if he went to Westpoint. He smiled and said no, I went to Langley. I gasped even louder. For those of you who have not kept up with your Alias and X-Files terminology, that means Kris was an FBI agent. Federal Bureau of Investigation!! I felt so sexy and dangerous. How many of you could say you know a guy who was in Desert Storm AND an FBI agent to boot?
I said hurriedly, Kris! Kris! Next time you fly down from Dubai we must have a long chat.
Kris laughed and said, yes we must. As long as I agree to have lunch with him at vegetarian restaurants for five straight days. You see, Kris is a vegetarian to atone for his past sins. He actually ATE crocodiles, among other unmentionable reptiles, when he was in the army.
Which was how I ended up eating char siew at the first place.
It has been an interesting day.
